Monday 22 June 2009

Hopeless Romance

I love love. I love the idea, the dream, the essence, the being of love. We all aspire to this golden ideal. If we are good people, hopefully karma will kick in and let us attain this all-thrashing, pulsating fire in the heart only equaled by the indescribable smiling bliss of couple-dom. I’m not saying marriage or an official partnership, but a deep undeniable connection. Whether it be man, woman, shim, that special someone is out there waiting for just the right moment to spring in our lives and throw everything upside down, leaving us scrambling for the pieces until finally you and them are on the same level and your eyes meet, your feet touch, you gently graze their arm. That is when it clicks. When you know why you are here and why they are there and why out of all the places and all of the circumstances, this has happened; that you are in love. You cannot easily describe love or else it would be quite simple to figure out and find. But instead it taunts us, lying merely inches, moments, nano-seconds from our grasp. It is in pursuit of this concept that the feeling can turn into lust, obsession, even desperation. This is when we turn from lovelorn protagonist into a villainous monster of a mess. Emotions run high, neurosis sets in, and you begin to disgust yourself to such an extent that you contemplate ending it all. But then, moments before jumping off the cliff, staying too long at the bottom of the pool or sticking your head in the oven, you realize that no, this can’t be love. This can’t be the hope, the wish, or the dashing man on the able steed riding you off into the sunset. There must still be that out there, that this is only a dark chapter in the storybook of your life. You may not be able to erase the original misconception from your mind, but you can try to dismiss it for what it was, a mistake, a stupid mistake, trying to love someone who does not nor ever will love you. That they never lusted, obsessed, or were led to desperation over you. So now, walk over the dead carcass of a long gone era of self-inflicted pain and romantic exclusion, on to something better, someone better who will make you feel whole in their arms, a certain warmth with their smile, a blush rising on your cheeks when they look into your eyes and you forget everything.

This post’s film recommendations:
Shakespeare in Love
Andrew Lloyd Webber’s The Phantom of the Opera
Wuthering Heights (1970)
Gone with the Wind
Gigi
Someone Like You
Sabrina (1954)
Love Affair (1939)
The Philadelphia Story
Becoming Jane
Lolita (1997)
Ever After
The French Lieutenant’s Woman

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