Hey there, me with the stars fading in my eyes

Hey there, you with the stars in your eyes...
I've been a horrible blogger, barely keeping up and I have no excuses other than lazy schoolwork and drunkenness. I realized recently that nothing is quite as you thought and it is a poor chance that it ever will be that delusion once dreamed. Everything loses its charm and mystery. As a child, I watched Vertigo and deemed Kim Novak as the epitome of womanhood from her bleach blonde hair to her statuesque figure to Jimmy Stewart's infatuation. As a semi-adult, I re-watched the Hitchcock masterpiece in horror as my childhood ideals were torn to shreds with laughter from Stewart's clumsy detective work to Novak submitting to a makeover if that would make him love her, not even to mention the bodiless head of Stewart floating in psychedelic reds. It all seems quite ridiculous. To extensively list the reasons would take years and the motivation of a paying book deal. A certain nostalgia sets in and then forces you to re-evaluate your current life, maybe I am being too cynical, too feminist, too idealistic that I can't accept the film the same way as I did as a child.
It's the same change that you get when something you loved individually becomes popular in the masses. For example, when I saw Tomb Raider II: The Cradle of Life, I thought 'Who is that man?', referring of course to Gerard Butler. From then on I was head over heels, even though it took me a search on the internet to know he is Scottish. And then Phantom came out, which was popular but not enough to hinder the seeming individualism of my crush. I went to five screenings and who knows how many times I have watched it on DVD, memorizing each shot with Gerry on film. And then 300 came out, everybody and their cousin loved him, from teenage boys to little old grannies. I began to resent his popularity as people began to try to tell me about this new hot Scot from this movie about some ancient battle. I was furious. I had not watched Dracula 2000 to have people inform me of his existence. I had pictures of him cut out and glued inside my binders. But now, I have come to terms with his popularity as I guess it was inevitable, maybe not the supposed dating of Naomi Campbell, Jennifer Anniston and Cameron Diaz. Oh well, what can you do? At least he isn't married.
Even in my 'work', I've reached a certain level of pessimism. The script that I've been working on for far too long is hopefully (fingers crossed) nearly at an end. After some drinks with an old crush and his girlfriend, I realized a good twist for my protagonists. *Spoiler Alert* (as if) Originally I thought of having the leading lady reveal herself as a booze hound, which would explain her abnormal obsession with Holly Golightly. But for the months that I have spent pondering, that did not feel right. It seemed a cop out, as couples do not work out without the helpful excuse of alcohol or drug abuse, even couples that never were. I couldn't have it be lack of attraction, as she is Holly Golightly after all. Oh yeah, the plot is about a young male writer who meets a woman who thinks she is Holly Golightly in modern Manhattan. Anyways, so after an awkward night, it dawned on me that maybe they don't end up together after all and he is with someone else at the end, while she is on her lonesome along with another twist which I don't want to divulge right now. Even my fictional characters do not receive happily ever after endings. I love love and romance and everything, but I cannot bring myself to write about it happily. I know that sounds horribly selfish and sad, but so far in my life I have not found that person to make me unselfish and happy, instead mere glimmers of hope shattered sharply as a result of my delusion. It's funny; I've never been physically intimate with someone I actually cared about. So both love and sex have been dashed in one single blow. Haha!
Yeah, on a lighter note, think of that Haha! a la Hugh Laurie in Blackadder as George either Blackadder the Third or Blackadder Goes Fourth, if you really want a giggle think of the pronunciation of revenge in 'Chains' from Blackadder II. Oh, I love Hugh Laurie. So much. From Jeeves and Wooster to Blackadder to Stuart Little to the bit in Man In The Iron Mask to his SNL appearance to House... Yeah, Hugh Laurie is nice to think about with his almost googly eyes and obnoxious grin which can transform into sexy curmudgeon-ness. He can cheer up any day. And on that lovely note, adieu!

Film Recommendations:
Vertigo
Lara Croft Tomb Raider 2: The Cradle of Life
Andrew Lloyd Webber's The Phantom of the Opera
Dracula 2000
300
Dear Frankie
Attila
Breakfast at Tiffany's
Love in the Afternoon
The Man in the Iron Mask (Leo Dicaprio version)

TV Recommendations:
Blackadder (Seasons 2-4)
Arrested Development (Seasons 1-3)